I’ve heard many discussions on church hurt and most times people address those that have church hurt in a soothing and caring manner. Meanwhile, they neglect to ask some very important questions. There was a short period of my life where I claimed to be “church hurt”, when in fact (after looking back), I realized that I was just hurt by what the church had to say about how I was living. I was never disrespected and I wouldn’t even say that I was judged either, but what I was being told was the total opposite of how I was living my life. To be very honest, I didn’t like knowing that being a nice person and not harming anyone wasn’t my only responsibility as a Christian. I thought that was enough and I didn’t like anyone trying to tell me otherwise. To me that felt as if they were judging me. Now I understand that everything they were saying was the truth. The truth has a painful sting especially when you’re not prepared or willing to hear it. It’s even more painful when you think you’ve been doing the best you can and someone is telling you that all this time you’ve been on the wrong track.
In no way am I saying that the one place you should be able to go to for Christian godly love should mistreat you and condemn you. What I am saying is that those that say they have church hurt should reexamine the reasons why they feel that way.
If the church you are attending is not operating in love and don’t have a clear intention to be more like Christ, then that is not a church you want to be a part of. I personally don’t think anyone should stay in an environment where they are being mistreated. However, someone condemning and mistreating you is very different from someone that is not willing to compromise the truth. Lying to someone to make them feel better about themselves is not the answer for healing. Hiding the truth certainly should not be an option.
Hurt is a real thing but forgiveness is also very real and needed. If Jesus forgave us then we must be willing to forgive others. So whether you’ve been hurt by church, random strangers, or someone in your family, just keep in mind all the times you may have hurt people yourself. No one deserves to be hurt but it happens. Thank God, we can repent and move forward. Can you imagine if God kept a list of all the bad things we’ve done and never forgave us. He’s such a merciful God. We should desire to be more like that. Hurt doesn’t have to last forever. You can give it over to God and move on to having a better relationship with Him and the church He leads you to be a part of.